Some days are just plain hard.

So today marked day 32 of this current cycle meaning I should have got my period at least 4 days ago. Typical of my body it didn’t do what was expected and today I was back to the specialist to work out what’s going on.

He did a scan and found my lining is still very thin (measuring about 4.5mm) but found that I have one large, dominant follicle on my right side measuring 20mm. In theory this follicle should ovulate leading to a period 2 weeks later. Given it is taking it’s sweet time I have been advised to take a “trigger shot” of Pregnyl tonight to help this along and then we can try naturally over the next 48-72 hours. My chances of falling pregnant naturally are very slim given my thin lining but it’s still worth a try!?

All going well I should get a period in the next 2 weeks (hopefully it works this time) and we can get started on our next cycle. If not then I will go back to the specialist again and probably go back on the pill for a few weeks to induce a period. It’s crazy how you spend so much of your life seeing a period as an inconvenience and frustrating and yet when you want one it just won’t show up! Our specialist did reassure me that we are on the right track and there is no reason why we won’t get pregnant. We just have to keep trying until we get lucky.

I have had a few days recently where I have felt really down and struggled with how many people around me are falling pregnant with no problems. I went to a 30th birthday party over the weekend where 2 of my good friends had their little ones there – 9 weeks old and 11 weeks old and its hard not to feel left out when everyone is fussing over the bubs. Then another friend told me she is expecting her second child. She doesn’t know our story or I’m sure she wouldn’t have said it but apparently ‘it just happened without even really trying’.

It’s like a slap on the face hearing things like that and while I am really happy for her and she is a fantastic mum to her little girl I can’t help but thinking I so want to be in her shoes. We also have Mother’s Day coming up this Sunday which will be lovely to spend with my mum and mother-in-law but a piece of me can’t help thinking about all my friends celebrating their first Mother’s Day this year and I still can’t even fall pregnant. I have come to assume anyone I know is pregnant until proven otherwise as it makes it slightly easier to deal with when you hear of another pregnancy announcement.

As my specialist reassured me – our time will come. We just have to stay strong and keep working towards our dream. We need to remember there are good days and bad days. Some are just crazy hard and you just have to embrace them. let the tears out, and hope tomorrow will be a better one.

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