OK today it has hit me. I woke up feeling uncomfortable, exhausted and just wanting this to be over. The injections hurt like crazy last night and both spots bled when I removed the needle. I didn’t get the same awful feeling as when I injected the vein last week but it still wasn’t nice. I’m not sure if it was because I had had acupuncture earlier in the day and had extra blood flow in the area or I’m just getting so much of all the drugs in my system now.
Either way, I feel tired and crappy and like I could cry for no reason at all. I keep trying to tell myself ‘this will all be worth it when I’m pregnant’, but I can’t help but worry, ‘what if I’m not?’. I’m trying really hard to push the negative thoughts aside because I have felt so strong during this cycle but I guess we all have our limits. Hopefully a weekend of relaxing and nice things with friends and family will drag me out of this funk and I will be pumped again by Egg Pick Up next week.
I keep looking back to a quote that keeps me going – “Everything will be ok in the end, and if its not ok, it’s not the end”. We will make our baby dreams come true one way or another. I just have to tough this out and remember I am only human. It is ok to feel sad, tired and flat at times. You just can’t be that way all the time and need to focus on all the good things in life. This afternoon I will go home and hug my puppy, for one day he will not be my only baby and I have to give him all the love I can now. Already feeling a bit better just getting these feeling out of my head. Time to take a deep breath, put my big girl pants on and tackle this day like any other. Hopefully just a few more days of injections to go.